5 Things To Know To Stop Yelling At Your Children

Sometimes the burden of our daily lives makes us forget the wonderful work we have as parents , and we end up shouting at our children and arguing with them.

We do it not because we are tired of them, but because the fatigue that comes from the endless tasks we have, in addition to being a mother, can take a heavy toll on us.

They say that being a mother is a difficult task, and it certainly is! But it can also be the best gift in the world.

Sometimes we are the ones who set very high goals for ourselves. We want perfect children who do not raise their voices or get their clothes dirty, and who are also quiet and greet us with a kiss.

We want children to get good grades, have perfectly clean rooms, read books at the age of 6, not owl their hair, never lose their toys and do their homework alone.

We want the kind of kids that are only found in magazines!

So what I learned when I stopped shouting at my kids was:

To stop yelling at her children, realize that you are not perfect

When I stopped yelling at my kids, I learned that I do not have to be a perfect mother. I’m not in a daily competition to prove something to anyone.

I understood that my children prefer me when I am not perfect and do not plan everything and can be more spontaneous and happy.

Maybe folding the clothes tomorrow or washing the dishes another time will make me more human, happier and a more relaxed mother. This makes me a better mother.

Maybe my house does not look like in a magazine, but my child’s smile does, and that’s because I stopped shouting at them.

I do not have perfect children, nor do I want perfect children

My kids are perfectly imperfect. They are real children: they waste juice, do not like to take a shower, whine about having to clean up their rooms, do not like vegetables and always want new toys… and how could they be different? They are children!

I love them just the way they are, like a whirlwind of laughter and soft kisses, sometimes ruthless because they are spontaneous, sometimes grumpy because they have their own view of things, sometimes whimsical because they just want to be happy.

It is as my children are: perfectly imperfect, they are children.

Shouting at his children comes from frustration. Focus on being the one they need

Even before they came into my life, I already had ideas about how I would raise my children. When they were on their way, I planned what to do in each situation . I did not want to be an unprepared mother.

I figured out how to teach them to pray and have good table manners. I told myself that I would never give them junk food and that I would teach them to be brave, independent and generous.

In a nutshell, I made plans with people I had not met yet – big mistake!

Then I realized that I had to be the mother that each of them needed, not the one I planned to be – sometimes firm, other times warm; sometimes protective, and sometimes pressing.

Because every child needs me in a different way, because each of them is different.

The opinions of others do not matter

I have very good friends with whom I can be honest about the difficulties I sometimes have when raising my children and I also listen to theirs.

We laugh and worry together, we try to solve problems, or we warn each other about what lies ahead. They are my partners in parenting, after the father of my children.

But I have also learned that there are some words and glances that are not necessary, those from sincere people who falsify perfection just for their appearance.

Their opinions and advice are worth nothing to me now. I think they need me to have someone to brag to.

I learned to motivate myself

One of the many things my kids have taught me is to take that extra step in the moments when I feel exhausted . It’s true, they have taught me to push myself to be a better person, to forgive myself with firm faith in the next opportunity.

They have taught me to realize that I am strong and enduring, more than I thought. They taught me to focus on the goal, not the obstacles, and that I can do it without yelling at my kids.

Today I really am a better version of myself compared to when they were born. They have made me reinvent myself and challenged me to be better.

Maybe my body and the dark circles under my eyes say something else and I will not even mention my nails!

I’m not saying I do not miss. the way I looked before, but I would not trade it for being who I am today, for anything in the world.

Every day I wake up with the desire to be a good mother to them and the unstoppable strength to be able to raise them in the way that each one of them needs, not to satisfy my ego.

Truthfully , I do not go to bed every night completely satisfied with myself. Some nights I do and some nights I do not. But other nights, I go to bed, with a feeling that I owe them a better day, more hugs and maybe more patience.

Those days, more than anyone else, I go to bed with the full intention that tomorrow I will have a new opportunity not to yell at my children.