No, Motherhood Does Not Ruin Your Friendships

Motherhood is, of course, a beautiful time in our lives. However, it can also be sad as it often makes us realize that some people do not feel like taking up the challenge.

There are people who we thought would support us through this stage, who, instead, choose to slip away. We often think that we are the ones who bear the blame, but this is not always the truth.

Motherhood does not ruin your friendships,  it just makes those who are worth something stay. 

However, you will need to make an effort. When friendships are ruined, there is, as a rule, not just one who bears the blame. When you take on your new role as a mother, you may have neglected the people who have always supported you.

Maybe it was you who was driving away, or maybe it was a misunderstanding.

Possibly, the people you once called your friends were not at all what you thought. 

What can I do to get my friendships back?

If you think you may be responsible for this, do not let that stop you from compensating. Be aware of your mistakes and try to make it right again.

Try to get in touch with your friends again, and invite them to be a part of your child’s life.

Say sorry

This is a simple way in which you can admit that you accept your share of the blame. If you think you’ve hurt someone’s feelings, apologize.

Accept that you have done something wrong and demonstrate that you are still the same person as before. If your friendship is genuine, the other person will know how to forgive you.

Show interest in your friendships

Show them that you are not self-centered and ask them how it all goes. You are not the only person in the world with problems.

Try to support your friends, listen to them, and show interest in their lives. No one likes people who only think of themselves.

Do not talk about your child all the time

Diapers and feeding bottles are not the only things in life. It’s good for you to talk to your friends about your baby, but do not let it take over all the conversations. 

If the only thing you’re talking about is your baby and your baby, your friends will, sooner or later, get tired. Being a mother does not mean that you have to ignore all your other interests. 

Try to involve them in your child’s life

Invite them to participate in your child’s life. Friends are the family we choose, and they support us when our relationships of blood cannot, or will not, be there. 

Some children grow up with their mother and father’s friends as godparents, and love them just like aunts and uncles. After all, if something happens to you, you want your child to be cared for by someone you can fully trust. 

Stay in touch

Today, thanks to the internet and social networks, it is much easier to keep your friendships alive. Talk to them whenever you can. Tell them what’s going on in your life and find out what’s going on in theirs.

You do not have to be online all day long just to stay up to date on the latest news. It does not matter if you are near or far: they will always be there for you. 

When you do not change, but those around you do

If it is the others who have distanced themselves from you, despite your best efforts, do not let it bring you down. This is the way of life to get rid of toxic people who are only with you in the good times.

You have the right to be disappointed and upset, but do not think too much about it. You have learned to recognize people who are not good to you. Therefore, stay away from that kind of thing as much as possible.

Some characteristics of toxic people

• They do not care about you or your baby. They never ask how things are going or offer their help.
• Sometimes they pretend to be worried, but when you need them, they are never there.
• They’re lying to you. 
• When you invite them to one of the events for your child, they make excuses not to come.
• The only time they pick up the phone, or read your messages, is  when it suits them. 

• They make you feel alone and isolated. 
• They criticize you all the time, and do not understand that your priorities are different from theirs.

If someone around you is behaving this way, keep your distance. You can not trust them and they do not deserve to be in your life. Take advantage of this new stage.

Being a mother also gives you the opportunity to meet new people who are going through similar things and establish new friendships.

The schoolyard, parks and kindergartens are all great places where you can meet other mothers  when you come to these places with your child.

You can also try to join clubs, courses or groups where you can meet people with the same interests as you.