Nest Building, Breastfeeding And Love – The First 40 Days

The first 40 days after birth are meant for a few specific things: it’s time for nest building, time to be in magical intimacy, time to love, getting to know your baby, and to welcome him into the world and love him skin-to-skin.

The world stands still. Everything stops and begins at the same time. There are not many moments that are as magical as those where we finally welcome our children after we have carried them around inside us for 9 months. Now it’s time for nest building .

One of the most interesting books on puerperium is “Safe Postpartum” by Beatrijs Smulders. This author, a professional midwife, immerses us completely in common tasks, scenarios and situations that mothers and fathers experience in this time. This, of course, extends far beyond the classic 40 days.

Puerperium can last up to a year, as we have previously pointed out on this page. This book guides us in a realistic way through all the experiences that form a real kaleidoscope of fear, emotions, physical exhaustion, challenges, problems and happiness.

Something that is very clear is that many mothers are almost forced to come out of a purely physical and emotional universe, such as childbirth, to dive into the concrete reality, which is work, money, schedules and daily routines, while the baby’s intimate and whispering life is there.

How do we balance it all? How can we be in harmony with every need and every obligation? It is definitely a complex and exciting journey. 

Believe it or not, the first 40 days after a birth mean something, and it means a lot. It is the great welcome, the adaptation and the discovery of us as mothers, and our partners as parents.

You need intimacy during the first 40 days after birth

The first 40 days after birth are yours. It is the territory of mother and father, and together with the baby you create a unique sphere. It is magical and surrounded by intense emotions that only belong to the three of you.

It’s okay if you do not receive visits for a few days, and if you put your goals and work commitments aside. There is one that is more important that requires your attention, caress, food and love… baby.

It’s time for nest building

Nest building means in concrete terms that you build a nest that you can live in. There is nothing wrong with using the terms from the animal kingdom. Ultimately, the behaviors and endings are the same: we raise children and give them protection, warmth, love, and of course food.

• Mom and dad build nests with the baby to welcome him after the birth.
• Nest building is there to be closer to each other.
• We build nests so we can become role models for the baby.
• We build ready to be calm, to reassure each other, and to discover ourselves in our new roles, needs and obligations.
• Nest building is there to take care of ourselves. It’s not just the baby who needs everything from us. The mother needs the father because she is exhausted, because her body hurts, and because we all need love, care and attention.
• We build ready to breastfeed and have skin-to-skin contact and heart-to-heart contact. 

The best weapon in the first few days: your sixth sense

In the first 40 days, there are many challenges to deal with: adjustment, breastfeeding, rest at night, umbilical cord, pacifier, cradle, colic and especially crying.

• Knowing how to interpret the baby’s crying is without a doubt the first necessity that many mothers almost assume as a commitment. Is he crying from hunger? Is there anything that hurts? Is it because of the diaper? It is normal to be occupied for the first few days. But little by little, the fear becomes calmer and rationalized, and at the same time the sixth sense emerges. 
• There is a kind of calm during the 40 days, almost without you noticing, and we understand that the baby most of all needs our closeness. We realize that it is soothing when we hold him in our arms. Breastfeeding is relaxing for him, while at the same time nourishing him. 

Our maternal instinct, the new sense, is a true superpower that creates harmony with our baby. The 40 days after birth will be difficult at times. But with the right perspective, they will rise as one of the most important stages in your life.

What we need first and foremost is to create a circle of intimacy and simply build a nest as a family. The world, with all its bustle, pressure, work, friends and visits can wait a while, for this time belongs to us.