My Child Makes Excuses To Avoid School

The most frequent excuses to avoid school

Just before going to school, children may complain of stomach aches, headaches or sore throats. This apparent illness will improve if you allow your child to stay home, but it returns again the following morning.

Moreover, children can also show their discomfort by crying or having an outburst of anger. In older children,  there may be a challenging or aggressive behavior toward the parents. They may refuse to get up and prepare to go to school,  they may run away from home or from school or have episodes of bad mood.

Why some kids make excuses to avoid school

The excuses for avoiding school may have internal or external origins. Now, we will review the causes of each of these types.

Apologies of inner origin

First of all, your child may feel anxious or have a paralyzed fear of leaving the safety of his or her parents’ home. For example, your child may think that something bad will happen to him or her if he or she does not stay at home with you. 

Your child may think he or she will get lost and will not know how to find you. Your child may even think that you will die while he or she is away.

Likewise, it may also be due to family circumstances. In the event of divorce, abuse or domestic violence, children may develop a fear of leaving home. They try to avoid their parents arguing and they look for excuses to get the parents’ attention.

In other cases,  some children may want to avoid school because they have an undiagnosed learning disability. 

Furthermore, older children may consider it a more enjoyable experience to stay at home, rather than go to school. They want to sleep long, be online, watch TV, play video games or do their other favorite activities.

Excuses of external origin

Other reasons include social factors. In these cases, children are afraid to face situations such as taking the bus, writing on the blackboard or speaking in front of their teachers and classmates. Because they feel afraid of failing, they create excuses to avoid it. 

Another cause includes interpersonal problems. In younger children, they may consider themselves ugly or bad or think that no one bothers to play with them.

Furthermore,  it is possible that they may suffer from threats or some form of humiliating treatment. This reason is the most common among young people. Both educators and parents need to work together to stop bullying as early as possible.

In addition, physical changes may occur. Young people are concerned about their physical appearance, such as being overweight or very thin. It causes them to have low self-esteem.

In the case of girls, early or remarkable development can cause anguish. Hormonal changes can be added to these uncertainties. Furthermore, at this stage, they are no longer the older and more experienced children. They become the youngest and most inexperienced teenagers.

When excuses are common

It is very common to make excuses to avoid school and they can occur at any time. However, they occur more frequently in children between 5 and 7 years of age, and between 10 and 13 years of age.

In fact, it is estimated that up to 25% of all school children will make excuses to avoid school at some point.

In younger children, this situation can occur after vacations or a short illness. This is because there has been a considerable amount of time associated with the family. It is also possible that excuses occur after the death of a family member, a change of school, moving to a new home, etc.

9 practical tips for parents

Before you assume that your child is just coming up with a simple excuse, think about this:

• Try to determine the source of the excuses.
• Exclude the most common symptoms used as an excuse,  such as fever, headache, abdominal pain, nausea and / or vomiting. Observe the intensity and frequency of these apologies to determine if they are real.
• Be patient and do not get frustrated.
• Do not rush to react negatively  or tell that the fear is unfounded. Do not force your child to go to school without knowing the reasons first.
• Keep in mind that constant fear can trigger anxiety disorders, phobias or panic attacks in the future.
• Keep in mind that schools create a lot of anxiety in children because it is not the protective environment of the home. It makes them make excuses to avoid school.
• Talk about the situation  without scolding or downplaying your child’s feelings. It helps prevent the problem from getting worse.
• Work with teachers, classmates and siblings to handle the situation in the best way.
• A psychologist or other professional can give you practical advice according to your particular case. Do not forget that you are not alone. 

Problems that can cause frequent excuses to avoid school

When a child continues to make excuses to avoid going to school, it becomes a worrying situation. In these cases, it is advisable that you seek the help of a mental health professional. Keep in mind that this will be very important for your child’s overall growth.

Leaving school can cause serious academic and social problems due to fear and anxiety. In the long run, it  can also lead to a complete rejection of studies, criminal behavior and financial loss due to problems maintaining a job.

Social isolation and marital problems are also possible consequences. As adults, this situation can cause anxiety, depression, panic and personality disorders.

Although it is very common in children to make excuses to avoid school, try to find out its lineage. By dealing with the situation successfully, your child will be able to enjoy the school experience to the fullest and be much more calm.