Goodbye: Remember To Say It Before You Leave Home

Mothers often avoid certain situations that can make their children sad. They do not want to see them cry, kick and ask us to take them with us. While it can be hard to say goodbye, sometimes you need to be away from your child for a little while. But never leave home without saying goodbye .

In your role as a mother, you have definitely had to be an escape king at some point: you have listed on your toes, generated distractions and you have been taken away from home without saying goodbye so you could avoid your child becoming sorry.

But it can be an exhausting and vicious circle to take on the role of a spy, where we try to accomplish the impossible mission of going to work, out shopping or other things. We need to stop that circle for the well-being of the whole family.

Do not avoid saying goodbye every time you leave home

When your child discovers you have left without saying goodbye, they will feel cheated, unprotected and inconsolable, even if it is the opposite you wanted to achieve. 

A “silent goodbye” can be continually frustrating and complicated. It results in a delay to our destination, worries or anxiety. It can also promote inappropriate behavior on the part of the child.

It’s healthy for both of you if you say goodbye naturally and let them remind you to come back. This also makes it less traumatic for your child and your family.

As time goes on, you will be able to leave the subconscious warning message and the negative emotions around it “disappearing” without saying goodbye.

You will communicate with proper techniques that will be more convenient for both of you. This is also true if your infant does not fully understand it in the first few attempts.

If you make it a habit to say goodbye, then they will gradually get used to it.

Explaining you need to leave home should be part of your daily communication as a mother until your child finds this event natural. At some point, you will be able to avoid all the tricks you used to use to sneak away.

Send them a positive message

Mothers often show the pain they feel when leaving their child. This is done either through gestures or words. If we avoid sending out or obscuring this negative message, then our child will feel more secure and secure, which will facilitate this daily process.

You need to emphasize that they are still in safe hands. Tell them who will keep them company while you are away. Remind them that you are coming back. This is important so that they feel safe while you are away.

Taking away from home without saying goodbye should never be an option. Children often repeat the behavior of their family members, and this is an unwanted habit for their development.

If you give them a beautiful message, or give them a toy, then they will feel supported. It will be a healthy distraction while you are away.

Amplify the positive message

When you get home again, ask them if they have behaved properly or what they have done during the day. Tell them what you made, or show your child what you bought, if possible. This will remove negative behavior. They will notice that it was true that you would return, and it will strengthen the security and trust between you.

It is good to reward their good behavior from time to time as this can help manage irregularities associated with a bad attitude.

Acknowledge your feelings

Making it clear that it is normal to feel fear, restlessness and attachment will help you feel understood. Explain to them that this brief separation will serve you both to do different things. But say that you always come home again and will be there to offer love and understanding.

If you make their feelings a trifle, or if you blackmail them emotionally, then you prolong their anger or suffering.

Remember that as adults we can have control over the situation and it is our duty as mothers to help them when they need our support.

Advice that will make the moment less traumatic

Below you will find some advice so that you do not leave home without saying goodbye, and so that you can learn to turn this moment into something that is completely natural:

• keep calm
• Be as concise as possible
• Show love
• Remind them that you are coming home again
• Tell them who should look after them
• Suggest activities they can do while you are away. They can draw a drawing for you, play with toys, etc.
• Remind them how beneficial good behavior can be
• Reward good attitudes
• Listen to what is bothering them
• Answer or clarify their doubts