Partners: We Are Parents, But We Are Also Partners

You and I now have the best gift in the world: our baby. But we are also partners in addition to being parents. We are two in one. Partners who continue to exchange glances and be aware that we have entered a new era, something bigger, more intense and different…

When talking about a couple’s relationship with their children, it is very common to find books and articles that explain how we on the one hand have to agree on the child’s education. Or how, on the other hand, we have to face the empty nest phase together when our children are ready to leave home.

But now… what about the couple themselves? What happens in the intimate and private sphere once the baby is born and we are somehow not the same as before?

Both the father and the mother undergo a small internal revolution in which new roles appear, whether they want it or not. New responsibilities arise, which in a way affect the relationship itself.

Today we will take a closer look at this.

Now we are three: When partnership grows in every sense

There are those who talk about a small crisis, new roles and even conflicting emotions. Until recently, it was often said that it is common for the father to feel “displaced.”

The child’s intimate dependence on the mother pushed the father figure to the side.

But today, parenting is more active and more present, which invites us to focus on the couple’s private atmosphere in relation to their child, in a way that is more caring, rich and positive for all.

We are tired, but our partnership, magic and love accompany us

It’s over with spontaneous plans, cooking for two, weekend trips… We know that everything changes. But the arrival of a child is a big change and in a positive way. 

Therefore, it is common that the most complex moments are those where you come home from the hospital, share responsibilities where you need to comfort, change diapers and adjust work schedules.

Everything is new and everything is intense. And the couple’s new experiences are always lived with intensity. They are challenges that in return allow us to get to know each other much better.

These are times when we end up loving each other more. 

Mom and Dad thank you for leaving them alone. They build nests!

New parents will no doubt appreciate the small intervals where they get peace and quiet after a baby is born. This time is spent getting to know the new family member. At a later date, there will be time for friends to get to know the little new treasure. And at a later date we can fill the house with movement, laughter and good company.

But now all parents just want to build a nest, and that period usually lasts until the father’s maternity leave – which is shorter than the mother’s – is over.

It not only helps the parents to get to know their baby, but also to be able to have him close, give him lots of kisses, caresses and attention.

We are partners, we are still one, but we are also two in this new era

Several obstacles will arise during this new phase. Obstacles and responsibilities where we need to keep the best interests of the child in mind.

But there is also one aspect that we must not neglect: our relationships as partners, our ties. The magic that has to keep growing through the small details.

Sometimes this routine is so demanding that we neglect certain things when raising a child. We forget to look each other in the eye, laugh for no reason and most of all: say sweet things to each other and appreciate each other as we did before.

We know the baby needs everything, but that does not mean we can not have time for intimacy. A special day where we let the family help us have dinner alone, or a short vacation where we can talk together and maintain the bond.

Moreover, we can not forget that this relationship is built on a day-to-day basis, and it is in our homes and in our everyday lives that the most meaningful love is nurtured. It is when we take care of each other and feed ourselves with good moments, partnership, caresses, laughter and the looks that say everything without the use of words.