Your Voice Position When Disciplining Your Children
There are many parents who speak harshly when disciplining their children. Sometimes, they shout, and, other times, they even become aggressive. It is never a sign of good upbringing. Shouting does not educate children. Rather, it creates fear and reluctance. But, what voice position is the right one to use when disciplining our children?
A more empathetic, understanding and caring tone is much more effective when it comes to disciplining children. The crucial thing is to be sincere. In other words, one must be completely sincere and use a calm voice. If you speak in anger, your children will feel it and your words will not be so effective.
Discipline is complicated
Discipline is one of the most complicated parts of raising children. Especially because we do not want our children to suffer. At the same time, they have to learn certain lessons. On occasion, parents become too lenient due to a desire to protect their children from negative emotions. However, these parents are not doing their children a favor. In fact, they do the opposite.
Children who grow up without a concrete discipline structure or without consistent education are less prepared to deal with adulthood. Parents need to create a predictable structure for their children that includes rules and boundaries. That way, children will know what is expected of them, at any given moment.
Your voice position matters when you discipline your children
Many parents think they have to use a serious voice to discipline their children. Some even think that they have to shout at their children to correct their behavior. But, nothing could be further from the truth. What we need to understand very clearly is that shouting and verbal abuse of children, by no means, is the best way to discipline them.
If we keep in mind that discipline is synonymous with learning, then we will change our perspective and approach. If you shout or speak aggressively to your children, you will nullify their ability to learn. Children get emotionally ill and block any kind of learning.
If you place orders with an aggressive voice, children’s brains will automatically go into a fight or flight mode. This causes children to become very immune and uncooperative. Furthermore, they become emotionally reluctant towards their parents, so as not to be more empathetic.
Increase your empathy as you discipline your children
Parents suffer when their children suffer. But, that does not mean that one should throw the rules out the window. If one is lenient, it only creates more harm in the long run. Ideally, one should take a new approach to discipline. When you talk to your children in a calm and empathetic voice about the consequences of their actions, it is always a good starting point for effective discipline.
Use a tone of voice that is calm and that comes from your heart. Try to understand your children rather than attacking them. That way, your kids will feel accepted and know that you love them when you correct them. It’s your role as a parent.
There is no need to shout. The world is harsh enough, and children need their home to be a place that offers not only physical refuge but also emotional refuge. Let your children face the established and natural consequences of their actions. At the same time, make sure you are there to offer your support.
On many occasions, the consequences speak for themselves. However, you, as a mother or father, should remain true to your boundaries when talking to your children in a calm, loving and, most importantly, empathetic voice.
What you can do if you feel like you are always yelling at your kids
Perhaps you have already developed a habit of shouting at your children and talking to them in an unfriendly way. Maybe you grew up with this kind of upbringing and think that is the only way your children will obey you. And, maybe, they seem to ignore you when you talk calmly to them.
First of all, you have to understand, if you shout, then you will always have to shout. This is because your children will get used to you always shouting. They think they do not have to take you seriously unless you get angry and raise your voice. It’s going to be a vicious circle.
Avoid becoming an aggressive voice when disciplining your children
It may create short-term results if you use an aggressive voice pitch, but it will fail in the long run. Shouting does not educate children. If you shout too often, you will simply end up ruining your relationship with your children. And, as they get older, if you want them to trust you, you need to maintain good communication with them. Therefore, you need to make it clear early in childhood, to use a calm tone of voice when correcting your children.
You should save raising your voice for real emergencies. In other words, the times when there is a safety risk and you need to get your children’s attention as soon as possible, to avoid them getting hurt or harming others. Once the danger has passed, return to your calm voice again.
