Having A Sibling With Special Needs

Having a sibling with special needs does not have to change the daily life of a family completely, although it will require adjusting some routines and starting others. This is why you may experience some emotions that are difficult to understand.

How are you feeling?

There are many worries and frustrations you can feel if you have a sibling with special needs. Perhaps, you can recognize some of these:

Fear and anxiety

It can be hard to understand where your siblings are different. It’s normal. What you need to do is understand that it is not bad to be different. Everyone is special in their own way.

On the other hand,  you may be afraid of what might happen to your siblings in the future. You may even worry on a daily basis about whether there may be health complications that could send your sibling to the hospital.

Feelings of guilt

You may think that you are responsible for your sibling’s condition. These feelings can arise in  early childhood and later in adulthood  – especially when it’s time for you to move out of your home and your parents are left with the responsibility of your siblings.

It is normal for you to live your own life and become more independent. This does not mean that you love the person less or that you are a bad sibling. You should always support your brother or sister and help where you can.

Feeling of isolation, loss and loneliness

These feelings may be motivated by a desire for attention from your parents,  as they have a tendency to spend a lot of time, focused on your siblings who have special needs.

It is important to find a balance so that you, sometimes, can also spend time with them alone. Every child is unique and all children need time and attention from their parents.

Feelings of shame

You may perceive your family as different from others because you have different activities and routines. But, no two families are alike! You should not be ashamed of your family. They are the most valuable thing you have.

It is also true if you feel you are in an awkward situation when it comes to  answering questions from your classmates or teachers around your siblings. Just speak naturally.

Early maturity

You may find yourself in a situation where you are forced to mature faster than others, due to the daily experiences in your home. Maybe one of your parents is often away. Frequent visits to the hospital or many experiences with tensions or worries can make you see the future with a bigger perspective. It will help you know how to better respond to decline.

My siblings have special needs. What can I do?

The following suggestions will help you tackle this situation in a positive way:

The role of your parents

In general, parents are immersed in the needs of the child with special needs and it may seem as if they will not pay attention to their other children.

You can  take advantage of the opportunity to spend time with your parents, even if it is scarce. Understand that it is due to the circumstances – they do not do it on purpose. You will probably understand it better in the future.

Communication: a positive aspect

Talk to your parents or another trusted adult about how life at home affects you. Acknowledge your doubts, fears and feelings towards them. It will make you feel better. Furthermore, they will know how to support you and you can find a solution together.

Learn about the disease

Knowing everything about your sibling’s condition  can help you better understand his or her condition. It will also help you put yourself in your sibling’s place. As you grow up, you will become more and more able to help.

Spend quality time with your siblings

You find that it is an excellent opportunity to forge a bond with your family. While you may not be able to have a direct connection with your sibling, the fact is that your presence will make him or her feel good.

Pay attention to the decisions that affect your siblings

If you participate in family decisions around your siblings,  you will remain alert and busy, and you will feel valued. You will see that you are contributing to his or her well-being.

Positive aspects of having a sibling with special needs

Some studies by therapists have shown that children who have siblings with functional diversity are no less adapted. In fact, the opposite is true. People gain many valuable experiences by growing up with a sibling who has a special condition.

It may have brought a family closer together and  enabled family members to develop special qualities and virtues, such as empathy, listening skills, or even early maturity.

So, if you have a sibling with special needs, despite the problems you may be facing, then maintain a positive attitude and realize that it is not necessarily a problem. All people are different!