Prevent Children From Seeking Approval From Others

You have certainly seen more than once that someone asks a child a question and the child automatically looks at his or her parents to know what he or she can or should do. In principle, this situation is normal and healthy. However, it can become a problem when children are constantly seeking approval from others.

Is it good that children always need to seek approval from an adult, guardian, parent or even peers? Not really. It is not always positive as  it can undermine their security, self-concept and self-esteem. 

Let us remember that if children grow and develop insecurely and constantly doubt themselves, this is how they will behave for the rest of their lives. If you do not want your children to end up as adults with low self-esteem and have bad childhood memories, then it is important to prevent them from constantly seeking approval from others.

Early experiences are crucial and they will mark children’s personality for life. That is why it is important to educate the little ones in an environment that promotes safety and well-being – with clear boundaries. Furthermore, we should avoid creating excessive feelings of frustration and promote a healthy self-esteem that is neither too high nor too low.

Why should children not constantly seek approval from others?

Basically, children know of two environments that are here, much of their early life takes place: the family and the school. If we do a good analysis, we will find that more than three quarters of their day are children either at home or at school.

What does this mean? To work with children’s safety and deter them from seeking approval from others, we need to focus on both environments. So there must be a focus on both family life and school. 

At home

It is normal for children to be dependent on their parents. After all, they are the ones who offer love, nourishment and protection. However, if the adults do not naturalize this fact, it can affect children’s self-esteem.

In other words, parents need to give their children self-confidence so they know they do not have to earn this nourishment or love. That way , it will be easier for children not always to seek respect and love from their parents. 

With an upbringing with a secure attachment by children, that they have the right to have their own opinion, to be more confident and they can have confidence in their abilities without always seeking help, approval or opinions from adults.

We should not confuse this with paternal and maternal attitudes that are overprotective or overly strict. It is not about raising submissive and obedient children. It is about raising children who are responsible and able to handle themselves properly.

Constant listening to avoid children always seeking approval from others

You will need to maintain a constant positive attitude with active listening. That way, you will be able to understand your children, know their opinions and give them the importance they have.

Furthermore, you want to  enable them to express themselves and make them feel respected and loved. At no point should you make them believe that anything can make you withdraw your love.

If a behavior or an opinion does not seem appropriate, we must, of course, express that our opinion is opposite to theirs, but in a respectful way.

In school

We must also remember that school also plays a crucial role in the education and upbringing of children. In the classroom, children may constantly seek approval from their teachers or peers to feel that they belong.

For that reason  , educators need to ensure that children build a strong and solid self-esteem. That way, their relationships will not become problematic, toxic or too addictive.

You must remember that preventing children from seeking approval from others will help prevent abuse. Therefore, educators need to show children that they like them and that they respect them and that it will not change the situation that they are more or less dependent.

It is fundamental that every child is aware that his or her principles matter, as well as their way of being. We must respect children unconditionally so that they do not feel obligated to constantly seek approval from anyone. 

In short, there may be times when certain types of behavior in children obviously require to be corrected. Knowing how to prevent children from constantly seeking approval from others involves solving any problem that arises. It must be done in a way that does not affect their self-esteem and self-confidence.