What If I Do Not Like My Daughter’s Partner?

As a mother and father, it is natural that we want to guarantee the joy, success and safety of our children. Therefore,  it often represents a complex situation when one has to meet and interact with one’s daughter’s partner. 

Many parents give an unfavorable picture in these cases. What to do if you do not like your daughter’s partner?

How should I react if I do not like my daughter’s partner?

Your daughter has started dating and the time has come for you to meet the person she has chosen. Perhaps this vigilance is an overprotective feeling within you.

It is normal to be afraid of losing your daughter. You have worked hard to raise her, educate her and offer her a healthy and dignified life. You want the best for her.

However,  we need to remember that our children grow up and have the right to make their own decisions and take their own steps. Their choice of partner is one of the important decisions where we need to offer our support and assistance.

What to do if you do not like your daughter’s partner? You may not agree with your daughter’s preferences according to who she’s dating. However, always put respect and affection first.

It is crucial not to judge, to get a positive start

To be honest with yourself and your children,  you need to acknowledge your own inadequacies. It is the first step towards changing and opening your mind when you have to meet new people, other environments and different realities.

When meeting your daughter’s partner, remember that you should not judge him or her by appearance, and especially not based on your own personal taste.

Maybe he does not look great because he had a bad day at work. Perhaps his financial situation does not allow access to the best clothes and the best accessories. 

On the other hand, the preferences of each person must be respected. Some people like to look simple, while others prefer to look more flashy.

Before judging, based on appearance or preferences, it is best to spend time together to get to know the person your daughter has chosen. Prejudice is devastating to all relationships and it is up to us to change them.

Understand that young people are young

If your daughter is a teenager or girl, she may be experiencing some communication problems. In addition to the love that, for sure, binds you together, generational differences can often prevent our interactions with our children at this stage.

Young people today have their own language, and technology is an integral part of their way of life. For parents,  teens’ vocabulary and preferences can be very strange. However, parents should not forget that too have been young once.

Again, the recommendation is not to judge. Instead, have the patience to get to know your children better. With the help of the internet and social media, you can understand a little better the way young people talk and act.

It will help you improve your communication with them. You can create a bond of friendship, trust and understanding. Furthermore, you will be more prepared to meet their partner.

It takes time to get to know your daughter’s partner

When you meet that person for the first time, your daughter’s partner will probably be quite nervous. Therefore, the person may make some mistakes or even seem weird or antisocial. This means that this person understands how important this moment is and wants to please you.

We need to keep in mind that we will never get to know someone in a day,  much less in a few hours. If you have just met your daughter’s partner, remember to give him or her the opportunity to show his or her true personality.

Let your children make their own mistakes

Sometimes, time proves that the parents are right and some couples do not hold. Your daughter may end up dating the person you do not like. However, you need to be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Establishing and maintaining a healthy and happy partnership is very complicated. It takes time, effort and dedication.

You may not agree with who your daughter has chosen to share her life with. Nevertheless, never become a burden for her to carry on her path through life.

We have all had positive and negative experiences  with current and former partners. For sure, we have felt grateful for the people who have listened to us and been there for us in those times.

As parents, we want our children to be happy. Love and satisfaction are part of a happy life. Your daughter may not stay with her current partner forever, but she may be very happy in the years she chooses to maintain the relationship.

If one day she shares her decision to break up with her partner, avoid comments such as “I knew it” or “I said it enough”. You simply have to keep in mind that  she is young and she needs lots of love, affection and calm to overcome this difficult moment.